5 TIPS TO HANDLE CHILDREN WHEN A PARENT TESTS POSITIVE FOR COVID.
Covid-19 has directly or indirectly affected millions of families round the globe. After dodging the virus for over a year, I, a mother a 4.5-year-old twins tested positive for covid.
When my husband informed me about my diagnosis, I was sitting with my children and reading some stories for them, and my instant reaction was that of total denial. How could have I caught the virus amidst taking all the necessary precautions. I barely showed any typical Covid-like symptoms and I consider myself quite healthy to catch the virus; this caused certain anguish and anger within me. However, it was important to protect our children as much as we could. So, I left my children in their room with their books, wore a mask and came back to inform them about my diagnosis. That was my last interaction with my children before I go into 2 weeks of quarantine period.
Those 2 weeks were a difficult period for us as a family due to the uncertainty that covid carries with it and to safeguard our children from any long-term emotional trauma. For children that young, staying away from their mom who has been their primary care giver all these years, could surely have negative repercussions. Amid our own anxiety, my husband and I (mostly my husband) handled the situation in the best manner possible to have the least negative effect on our children.
Tips that we followed during those 2 weeks:
1. Communication
We let our children know exactly what was happening and what all they can expect in these coming days in an age-appropriate manner. I told them “Mamma has coronavirus, so I have to be inside the bedroom and take care of myself so that I become fine soon. To protect you both and dada, I will not be meeting y’all for the next 2 weeks. Dada will be there with you both the whole day”. Allow them to ask questions, they obviously will be having so many doubts! My children also would pop up some questions to their father intermittently during that period to ask about me. Let them know the truth as a lie cannot always be followed up and can cause mistrust in the relationship.
2. Stick to the routine
During those 2 weeks my children had the exact same routine that they always had except that now I was not in the picture. Children feel a sense of security when there is some predictability around their daily life. A lack of routine can anyway cause anxiety or irritability in a regular setting and when one parent is away, it is more important than ever.
3. Physical exertion
Some level of stress would develop in children due to not seeing your parent for an extended period causing their cortisol levels to raise. A perfect antidote for this is to exercise and expend their physical energy. Every evening my children would play games like football and cricket as a part of their routine.
4. Positive attention by the other parent
Giving children attention by smiling, hugging, listening attentively or encouraging them boosts their morale and self-esteem. When one parent is not available, the other parent must try to make up for this to reduce the impact of not having the other parent around. Younger children thrive on cuddles, hugs, and kisses. My husband also included board games in their routine to bond with both kids.
5. Video call for assurance
I would regularly video call my children to let them know that I’m getting better each day and answer whatever queries they put forward. Even virtually seeing me made them feel delighted. I also would encourage them to talk about their feelings and would talk about mine. They would say that they miss hugging me and I validated their feelings. There was a countdown, ‘mamma, now only 5 days to go…now only 4 days to go…’ Those were my moments of joy during gloomy times that I shared with my children. There are always opportunities to make lifetime of memories.
One thing I would like to point out is the importance of ‘Equal Parenting’ where both parents are completely involved in a child’s upbringing. As I was completely off my parent duty, my husband was not lost with what had to be done because he is a part of raising children the way I am. Except that when I’m not around he has to do everything on his own. This made my isolation period a little swift for him and our children.
I have completed recuperated now and we as a family have emerged stronger now. I have immense gratitude that I have recovered well and the way my children and husband managed themselves beautifully.
